Forsaken

Greetings Dwarves and lesser folks!

My third visit on this ale exploration goes to the middle of nowhere, also known as the Forsaken Inn. It’s located between Bree and Ost Guruth and is a place for travelers to stay and rest. I doubt many would stay there for the amazing atmosphere, which it hasn’t. It’s crowded, unsavory and the people are suspiciously sober and solemn. But what can you expect from Men?

Where: The Forsaken Inn, Lone-lands
Tested: Forsaken Ale, Forsaken Cider
Reviewer: Myk

What I had:

Forsaken Ale
This is apparently the premium lager in these parts, which probably is a good indicator of what kind of life it is there in the Lone-lands. It’s watery, stale and tastes like the arse of a pony which just arrived from Rivendell. Makes me wonder how long it takes to transport this horrible brew from wherever it’s made. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Elf-work.

Forsaken Cider
Collecting my courage to try another one after the ale disaster, I decided to try the cider instead. It’s said that more than half the women in Lone-lands (are there any?) can blame their unwanted offspring on this brew. Despite this popularity, this cider is as flaccid as an impotent scholar locked in the dungeons of Carn Dûm. I’d rather go outfit-shopping with one of those Elven captains than trying this again.

Overall rating:

Wet wares: A disgrace (1 mug)
Result: Well it got the job done and me in a bed (2 mugs)
Patronage: Crowded and mostly tall folks (2 mugs)
Service: Despite all, excellent service (4 mugs)
Environment: I hope I shall never go there again (1 mug)

Total review: 1.7* mugs

*wet wares count triple!